Forgotten lessons.

A simple question from a friend. A sudden change of plans. An unexpected conversation.

Recently, God has been reminding me of simple lessons that I seem to so easily forget at times. He has been using a variety of methods, but each time it was exactly what I needed to be reminded of.

Last week, a friend of mine asked me a question in a very straight-forward manner. I'm not sure he even meant too much by it, but the question stuck in my mind. I quickly came to the realization that the answer was all about perception—how others may perceive me, to be more specific. I mulled over this idea for a few days.

I think that many—I may be so bold as to even say most—people have a fear of perception. They're afraid that they will say or do the "wrong" thing and it will change how people view them. However, this whole concept becomes an act of trying to win the approval of man. That should not be our goal. Many of us know this—either somewhere inside of us or in theory—but struggle with it. I am one of these people.

Now this leads me to the first lesson I've been relearning: seeking God's approval in all that I do. Yes, I realize that it sounds so simple and something that many of us already know, but we must be putting it in practice each day. It's not even that I'm failing to seek God's approval so much as there are times when I let it become clouded with the acknowledgment of others. But God is faithful and loving, showing me the error of my ways. How wonderful our Heavenly Father is.

Lesson number two is equally as obvious, I would say, but also an important one. The start of it came last Friday. I had planned a photo shoot with a friend of mine for that afternoon, because I had to complete an assignment for my photo class. However, rather uncharacteristically of Southern California, Friday was a gray day. I kept checking the weather online, and it wasn't suppose to rain until later in the evening, so I thought we would be fine. How wrong I was.

About half hour before my friend and I were supposed to meet, the rain started. I had originally hoped to shoot photos of he and his guitar, but that quickly went out the window. I wasn't sure if he would even be willing to shoot any more—shooting photos in the rain can be asking a lot of someone. He never even mentioned it, though.

The rain had thrown all of my photographic plans for a curve. I had to think on my feet. Luckily, my friend was patient with me as I worked to figure out what would produce the best results. I kept shooting pictures, making my way through the unexpected challenges.

Forty-five minutes and a hundred and fifty pictures later, we headed back. Based on what I could see on my camera screen, I was pretty excited for how some of them turned out. I put the photos on my computer later that night and was absolutely thrilled. They had turned out great. Those photos are some of my favorite work in a long time.

Later, as I was looking at the photos and thinking back on the time, I realized how perfectly things had unfolded. Rather than the rain detracting from my photos, it enhanced them. The photos looked nothing like I had planned; they were even better.

It was then that I saw the obvious lesson staring me in the face. Recently, my life has been a lot like that photo shoot. Things have not been going as I planned. I've encountered all kinds of unexpected challenges. But it's times like these when I am to continue to press on. Even though I have no idea what the outcome will be, with God's leading, I must make my way through the storm. As the rain always brings greener grass, the most difficult of circumstances produce the most beautiful results.

Love's As Warm As Tears.

If I'm being honest, I'm not a big fan of Valentine's day.
I am, however, a huge fan of C.S. Lewis. And this poem by him.

"Love's As Warm As Tears"
by C. S. Lewis

Love's as warm as tears,
Love is tears:
Pressure within the brain,
Tension at the throat,
Deluge, weeks of rain,
Haystacks afloat,
Featureless seas between
Hedges, where once was green

Love's as fierce as fire, 

Love is fire:
All sorts—Infernal heat
Clinkered with greed and pride, 

Lyric desire, sharp-sweet,
Laughing, even when denied, 

And that empyreal flame 

Whence all loves came. 


Love's as fresh as spring,
Love is spring:
Bird-song in the air,
Cool smells in a wood,
Whispering "Dare! Dare!"
To sap, to blood,
Telling "Ease, safety, rest,
Are good; not best."

Love's as hard as nails,
Love is nails: 

Blunt, thick, hammered through 

The medial nerves of One 

Who, having made us, knew 

The thing He had done,
Seeing (what all that is)
Our cross, and His.

20 years from now.

Friday was a beautiful, sunny day. Reaching temperatures of nearly 77 degrees, I couldn’t believe that February could be like this. After a crazy busy morning/early afternoon, I went to join my friends in the sunshine. I was wearing shorts and a tank top, reading some C.S. Lewis. It was beautiful.

Some of the group left to go get some work done, but Sarah, Katey, and I stayed in the sun. We were lying in the grass, our feet up on a tree, just chatting. And then something surprising and encouraging happened.

A man who must do some form of work on the grounds of Biola pulled up near us in one of the golf carts that they drive around. He told us that 20 years from now, we need to come back here and remember times like these. He said that we need to bring our children to this tree and let them see where we used to sit and talk when we were in college. We all smiled at his words.

He then informed us that when he graduated high school, he went to a junior college, and missed out on these kinds of experiences. But that wasn’t the end for him, which is where my favorite part of the story comes in. In 2006, he graduated from Biola. He said it was a lot harder with a wife and three children, but he did it. I was so blown away with his perseverance. He said a few parting words and went on his way. We never even got to ask his name.

The three of us discussed what had just happened and were all filled with joy because of it. Thank you, mystery worker. Thank you for reminding us not to take these days for granted—that’s far too easy to do. Thank you for encouraging us to enjoy every moment. Twenty years from now, I think you know where you’ll be able to find me.

I love days like these.

So much joy in 203.

In case you haven’t already figured it out, I have a lot of good times in Mosaic 203. Normally they are pretty casual, simply involving conversation and laughter. As much as I enjoy each and every time I’m there, I certainly don’t document them all. This last week, however, was a special occasion.

On Tuesday, it was Clarke’s birthday, and I told him I would bake him brownies on Wednesday, so that I would be able to hang out in their room. Clarke was going to be gone until fairly late in the evening, but I went to go hang out in 203 anyway. Because Carson hadn’t gotten a brownie from the last pan that I baked, despite the fact that he was suppose to, I told him that he could have the first one of this pan of them. Katey and I went to hang out with Mackenzie and waited for Carson to come cut the first brownie.

Once Carson came back to their room, he did just that. That wasn’t before he got out plates to put the brownies on, of course. Once he had cut brownies for he and Mackenzie, I decided to take a picture of the two of them. After getting the correct settings on my camera, I took a couple of shots. However, it was decided that they weren’t quite right. So I took a couple more. And then a few more after that. Eventually, I ended up with these photos:

Normally, I would only have picked a couple of these, but they all make me laugh so much that I couldn’t choose. I feel like these photos are a great representation of Mackenzie and Carson.

I then captured a few candids, which are always some of my favorites to take.

Carson just looks so joyful... I think it's the brownie.

Mackenzie watching his "favorite" show.

But the night didn’t end there, oh no. As Sarah and I were leaving, Carson said that he was really in the mood to collaborate on some music. We all had stuff to do, but we figured it could wait. Carson had his guitar in hand, so the three of us headed to the music building. They played and sang, and I shot photos. I sang a couple of times, too. These were my favorite shots, though:

Sarah's favorite shot.

I'll be honest... I love the focusing.

Oh, candids.

I love nights like these.

Things I love about Biola || People praying for you.

Tonight marks a week of being back in California. To be honest, it feels like I’ve been back a lot longer than that. Not to mention, the week has certainly been a challenging one.

In addition to being my one-week mark, tonight was also the first singspo of the semester. I was really looking forward to the straight hour of worship music.

The first song hadn’t even started before the floodgates in my eyes threatened to burst. About halfway through my time there they did just that. Sitting on the floor, I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. A few minutes later a girl’s voice asked if she could pray for me. I nodded my head, and she did just that.

The tears racing down my cheeks slowed, and she told me that if I wanted more prayer she would be standing not too far from me. I thanked her.

I was so struck by this act. The body of Christ is amazing, and I love being able to see it in action. What a community we have here.

She’s the first person to have prayed for me since I’ve been here.
And she doesn’t even know me.

The most wasted of days.

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” –E.E. Cummings

A couple of days ago, I stumbled across this quote and instantly liked it. Last night, I experienced some of the depth that it holds.

It’s currently my fifth day being back in California, and things are a little different than I expected them to be, to say the very least. Now don’t get me wrong here, it’s great to be back. It’s wonderful to see the faces of all kinds of people that I’ve gotten to know. Not to mention, there’s something to say for going from snowy, overcast days, to those filled with blue skies and sunshine. Being back has by no means been a breeze, however.

You see, the little things always try to get the best of you—like having too many books and not enough desk space. You become so overwhelmed with how to best organize your desk that you temporary give up even trying. Or when your printer—which requires four separate ink tanks—suddenly decides that three of them are going to be dangerously low. Or on the day that your trial runs out on the software you're using, you learn that the computer store doesn't have it. And can't get it for you for a bit. Or when you have a W-2 M.I.A. back in Minnesota, and are anxiously waiting for a check to arrive in California. And once it arrives, you get to deal with both the Accounting and Financial Aid offices. Or when you leave such stressful situations at home that worry begins to consume your thoughts constantly.

Now I realize that sounds like an awful lot of complaining. And it is. But I need to set the stage in order for you to see the bridge back to my initial quote. Yesterday afternoon, I made brownies to be brought to Mosaic 203—my favorite room on campus. I will have to tell more about the three fantastic chaps who inhabit that room another time—otherwise this post could become far too long. 

When I headed there later in the evening, I took a seat on the floor and sat back. The few of us there sat and talked and laughed—just like we did so often last semester. From Belgium waffles to dramatic music, we laughed about so many different things. For those of you who don’t know, I love to laugh more than almost anything else. Granted, I’ve laughed plenty since I’ve been back on campus, but not like this. Last night I laughed until it hurt. And then kept laughing. 

God certainly knew what He was doing when He created laughter. And I am so thankful for it. The Lord has granted me so much joy—and I am thanking Him for all the little things. Like friends that don’t give up on me, even when I’m being incredibly stubborn. Or reading a book so great that it’s bittersweet to finish it. Or when a photo turns out better than I expected it to. He is in all the little things in my life—good and bad. He cares about the details. He is teaching me through all of it.

I don’t ever want a day to go by in which I don’t laugh. It’s far too precious of a gift from the Lord. And as C.S. Lewis said, “Joy is the serious business of Heaven.”